I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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