It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
