i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize