smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
