there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
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