Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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