your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
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