OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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