are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You should frame my arrest warrant.
PANTIES FOUND
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