Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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