I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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