i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
