Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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