Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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