His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
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