Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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