oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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