I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
