I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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