uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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