I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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