so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize