while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
