I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize