i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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