Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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