Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
