I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Randomize
