it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
