Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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