I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
