Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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