"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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