worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
