Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I need help removing her.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
