We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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