am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
