Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
