my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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