You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
