There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
