White coat. Heels.
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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