me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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