It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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