oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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