Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just saw a hot homeless man
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize