he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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