your room smells of hookers.
And success
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
