Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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