sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
