i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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