I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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