There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
