sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
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It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
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You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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