Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
