Only a mothe r could love this liver
Little spoons don't ask big questions
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize