maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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