Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
