You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
