You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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