I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Success! We fucked roommates!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
