I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize