he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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