You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
