I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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