how can u be prego again
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
